All I am Saying is Give EMPATHY a Chance

“When you start to develop your powers of empathy and imagination, the whole world opens up to you.”

-Susan Sarandon

         Anyone who knows me knows that I am an advocate for empathy. I don’t believe in judging by first impressions because you never know what kind of day a person is having, or even what kind of life they live. My life is a constant worry about allergies and reactions: What if that child, that Penny is playing with, had peanuts before and didn’t wash his/her hands, and now will touch her and cause a reaction? What if that flour I bought has been tainted with peanut or any other allergen? What if that medication causes an allergic reaction? Should we go to that birthday party or would it be too dangerous to go?  As stated above, things that might be mundane for other people, involve more planning and effort on our part, which makes our day-to-day life a little bit more complicated.

The past 10 months have been challenging in our house. Penny got sick a lot. She developed asthma, and later, she had recurrent ear infections, which lead to surgery. Needless to say, I was scared. Scared not only because all surgeries have risks, but also, since she is so “atopic”, as her pediatrician says, and is not only allergic to some foods, but also to some medication, I was scared of her reaction to the anesthesia. Thankfully, the surgery was successful: ear tubes are in place, and tonsils and adenoids removed.

Ever since that surgery, things started to look a lot better. Then, a few months later, she started to develop some gastrointestinal issues. Penny was having tummy aches, diarrhea, and gagging when eating. We visited a Gastroenterologist, and an endoscopy was performed. Thankfully, she was negative to Celiac Disease, but “borderline” to Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EoE)-the Dr. said they look for a number 16 in the biopsy, and her result was 15, so he couldn’t diagnose her. I had this hunch in the back of my head that the problem was gluten, so after the endoscopy was performed, we started eating gluten free. A few weeks later, all the symptoms disappeared.

Now, since last night, Penny developed a fever. Her symptoms are headache, tummy ache, and nausea. After spending the night monitoring her fever, I called a nurse hotline to figure out if I had to take her to the ER or not. The helpful nurse that talked to me on the phone and asked me about her symptoms suggested that I take her to the ER. So, I did. I took her to the same hospital I’ve always taken her in case of an emergency. Today, she was seen by a resident- I have no problems with residents taking care of us, for our experiences have always been positive. However, after he examined Penny, he told me: “She looks fine. I know you are a concerned mother, and since you have spare time on a Saturday, well, here you are”. It took me a while to realize what this person was telling me… What does he mean? Spare time? Does he really think that I have nothing else to do? I was there because my daughter needed medical attention, not because I had spare time. You would think that a medical professional would be a little bit more empathic towards his patients, especially when his profession entails helping others. And now that I think about it, this is a quality that every single one of us should work on- we should at least try to see the world through someone else’s eyes. Let’s try to keep this in mind. Let’s try to show more compassion before formulating any judgment or ideas.

 

 

 

 

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